Hiram Benjamin Crosby’s Two Families

Hiram B. Crosby had two families, but it appears that he did not divorce his first wife, Mary, before he started his second family with Margaret Ackerman. 

Hiram’s First Family, Norwich Connecticut

In September 1859 at the age of 27, Hiram Benjamin Crosby married Mary Zilpha Scott,^[1] daughter of Clark and Zilpha (Judd) Scott^[2], who was about 10 years his junior.  

Hiram and Mary lived with his parents in their home in Union Street, Norwich, Connecticut.^[3] Multi-generational households were conventional. Also in the household was Hiram’s unmarried sister, Elizabeth whose occupation in the 1860 US Census was listed as “Lady”. Mary’s occupation was listed as “Companion”, presumably ‘Lady’ Elizabeth’s companion.^[4] I don’t know how or when Mary and Elizabeth met but I believe they had an enduring friendship.

A son, Charles Erskine Crosby, was born to Hiram and Mary on July 11, 1860.^[5] 

Shortly after Charles turned two, Hiram enlisted in the Union Army where he rose to the rank of Colonel in the 21st Connecticut Regiment Infantry during the American Civil War.^[6] He returned home on sick leave two years later^[7] and was honorably discharge in September 1864.^[8] [See: Hiram Benjamin Crosby in the Civil War]

On regaining his health, Hiram resumed his law practice in Norwich. He also became engaged in several new business ventures, some of which involved more time away from home and family. Norwich was not a small town, but Hiram had greater ambitions than what Norwich could provide and these ambitions drew him to New York City.

Move to New York City

In about 1869, Hiram removed to New York,^[9] probably to North Salem in Westchester County. Mary is certainly there in August 1870. She and their 10-year-old son Charles were living in Mary’s parents’ home which became the permanent home for Mary and Charles.^[10] 

I don’t know whether Hiram ever lived there with them. I have been unable to find him in any Norwich or New York City directory for 1870 or 1871 or anywhere in the 1870 census. He is, however, listed as a lay delegate to the Convention of the Protestant Episcopal Church in the Diocese of New York for St. James Church, North Salem, for 1869, 1870 and 1871.^[11] New York City directories for 1872 – 1883 list his work address as Nassau Street in the Financial District of NYC and his home address as North Salem which is about 50 miles north of midtown Manhattan—a long commute if in fact he did live there.

Hiram’s Second Family

At some stage Hiram and Mary separated. Hiram must have started his relationship with Margaret Ackerman at least by the autumn of 1871 as their first child together, Hiram Bedford Crosby, was born in July 1872. Their tenth and last child was born in April 1891. 

In 1880 while Mary and Charles were still living in her father's home in North Salem, Hiram and his second family were living at 30 East 10th Street just north of Union Square in the Flatiron District of Midtown Manhattan along with three domestic servants.^[12] This home was only 3 miles from his office in Nassau Street. In about 1884 or earlier, Hiram and his second family moved into a large home at Throgg’s Neck in the Bronx.^[13] 

Horatio N. Twombly, a Dartmouth classmate of Hiram, “often a guest in his family, spoke in high terms of his [Hiram’s] home life…and remarked upon the facility with which the boys and girls used the Greek Testament. Crosby's Latin, Greek, and mathematics, once a task, are now his delight, especially the classics. He has read the Iliad and Odyssey entire, and his wife says he should have been a college president. He finds in these early studies a renewal of his youth. His children, taught especially at home, in addition to other advanced culture have gained a good knowledge of Latin and Greek; two sons are qualified to enter college but have chosen not to take a college course.”^[14] 

Mary Sues for Divorce

In January 1896, thirty-six years after their marriage, Mary sued Hiram for divorce in the New York Supreme Court.^[15] I do not (yet) know the details or outcome of this case—some records are not easily obtained, sometimes for privacy reasons. While there were newspaper articles reporting that Mary was suing, I have not found any further articles detailing the results of that suit.

The Sun, Saturday 18 January 1896:

New York Herald, Saturday 18 January 1896:

According to those initial newspaper articles, Mary claimed that she and Hiram had been separated for more than ten years. I am surprised that the number of years stated was not more. I would have expected “more than twenty years” as Hiram’s first child with Margaret was 23 years old at the time that Mary initiated divorce proceedings.

Mary also claimed that Hiram had been living at Throgg's Neck since 1884 with Margaret Ackerman and that he had several children by her. In fact, Margaret had ten children by Hiram.

Mary stated that Hiram lived in a large mansion with grounds of fifteen acres that ran down to the Long Island Sound. And she declared that her husband had not provided for her even though he was well able to do so. She had no property of her own, except an interest of about $800 in her father's estate. Her father had died in April 1893^[16] and her mother in February 1895.^[17]

I find it interesting that Margaret is referred to as “Margaret Ackerman” not “Margaret Crosby”. Whether Margaret and Hiram had actually married I do not know.

Passings

A year after Mary sued Hiram for divorce, their son, Charles Erskine Crosby who was a journalist was killed in Cuba while covering the Cuban insurrection.^[18]

By June 1900, four years after Mary sued for divorce, Hiram and his second family were no longer living in Throgg’s Neck. They were renting a home north of Throgg’s Neck in Pelham Bay Park.^[19]

Hiram died later that year, aged 68, on October 7, 1900, from a cerebral embolism and indirectly from chronic nephritis.^[20] He was buried in the beautiful Kensico Cemetery in Valhalla, Westchester County, New York.^[21]

Mary Scott Crosby died 18 May 1903, aged 61.^[22] She left an interesting Will. [This story to come later.]

Margaret Ackerman Crosby[?] died 20 October 1924, aged 81, in Mamaroneck, Westchester County, New York.^[23]

Published 6 December 2025.